MEET PEOPLE IN YOUR OFFICE

     There is a certain uneasiness that grips you when you knock on a closed office door, be it in a government, company, hospital or school. The fact that you are knocking on the door means that the person behind the door is in their jurisdiction.

     That is the place of their reign. They are the boss there. Then comes the part when you are not sure if you should take a seat or wait to be offered one. All this adds to your anxiety. In that slight moment of walking from the door to the desk, you may even feel as a mouse walking towards cheese on a trap.
     Of course there are those who have mastered the art and science of establishing common ground in the split of a second and these will feel at home anywhere they go. However, there is the rest of us. We sometimes have to judge the character,  read the mood of the host and at the same time arrange our thoughts in a fraction of a second.
     First impressions don't have a second chance, we've been told. As such, we don't want to mess that. So we fidget on our seats as we attempt to present ourselves at our very best. But it doesn't always work. Oftentimes, even after doing our very best to impress, people already have stereotyped us. They have already developed misconceptions and expectations of us. To impress them, we must first of all break through the barriers of their expectations. 

     When you meet people in their office, you already gave them the power to stereotype you. They judge you from the way you knock, the way you walk in, the way you shake hands to the way you sit.        Every time you knock on somebody's door, you place yourself at their mercy.

Therefore; dont meet people in  their offices. Invite them to your office. I must clarify here and point you to a certain diversion. This is it. Though I laid my foundation with a physical office, I am not talking about the physical office. The physical office has helped us to establish the argument.  Now shift with  me to mentality offices. People occupy the seat you offer them when they meet you in your office. Don't offer them a seat (in your mind) that gives them the upper hand over you.

    The way you present yourself to a person determines whose office you're in. If you present yourself as desperate, you are in their office. If you make it clear that they need you more than  you need them, they are now in your office. If you show a man that you cannot do without him, you have walked into his office and are at his mercy. 

    You need a certain degree of assertiveness to be able to control the direction a conversation or relationship takes. You cannot direct a conversation in another man's office. Therefore in the initial stages of a conversation or relationship, try to draw the person into your office by being assertive over what you have to offer.

    Do not get into a relationship with a man who thinks he is doing you a favour. He must see what you have to offer long before you say yes. One-sided admiration is a wrong foundation for a relationship. The admiration must be mutual. Though he could be doing much better in life than you, you must present yourself in such a way as to show him your value. Then only can you have a say in the direction of the relationship. 

     Do not go to people. Build yourself to the extent that you can draw them to you. The people you approach control the conversation and the resolutions of such conversations. The people who come to you come ready to listen to your instruction. Therefore let them come to you. A woman who approaches a man for a relationship is very likely setting herself up for an abusive relationship. Let the man discover your worth and come to you. Then he will be in your office.

    A man who approaches a woman for a relationship must first build his tower so high that it can be seen from far. Then only can you draw her from her fantasy castle to join you in your palace. 

    The first step towards building a relationship where you will be valued is to first discover your value. If you don't know what you're worth, people will not either.  If you don't state your value, people will take advantage of you. The statement of value; however, is not verbal. It is done by creating an ambience that precedes you when you enter the room.

     A person who wants be in a place where they are valued must build that place themselves. There is no place you will have more honour than the place that you created. Create the atmosphere that you hold your conversations in. Create the ambience in which you strike business deals. If you walk into an existing aura, you adjust to it. If you create your own, people come into it and adjust to it.

     There must be unwritten rules of engagement on the walls of your mental office. People come to you and they read them before engaging with you. What do the rules on your wall read? Do they tell people to respect you or to take advantage of you?

    Success is like rain; it comes in bulk and only fits in the package you had made ready. If you package your expectation of success in a glass, your success will be a glassful.  Success replaces expectation. If you package your expectation in a tank, your success will fill the tank. Package yourself in the measure that you expect your success. 

    You want honour? Package yourself in it. You want to command respect? Create an atmosphere for respect in your thoughts and expectation. 

    Never let another person create the walls of the office you transact business in. They will hang the rules of engagement on the walls they built. Create the confines of the debate arena and hang your rules on them. 

Minister Felix Joe.