MEET PEOPLE IN YOUR OFFICE

     There is a certain uneasiness that grips you when you knock on a closed office door, be it in a government, company, hospital or school. The fact that you are knocking on the door means that the person behind the door is in their jurisdiction.

     That is the place of their reign. They are the boss there. Then comes the part when you are not sure if you should take a seat or wait to be offered one. All this adds to your anxiety. In that slight moment of walking from the door to the desk, you may even feel as a mouse walking towards cheese on a trap.
     Of course there are those who have mastered the art and science of establishing common ground in the split of a second and these will feel at home anywhere they go. However, there is the rest of us. We sometimes have to judge the character,  read the mood of the host and at the same time arrange our thoughts in a fraction of a second.
     First impressions don't have a second chance, we've been told. As such, we don't want to mess that. So we fidget on our seats as we attempt to present ourselves at our very best. But it doesn't always work. Oftentimes, even after doing our very best to impress, people already have stereotyped us. They have already developed misconceptions and expectations of us. To impress them, we must first of all break through the barriers of their expectations. 

     When you meet people in their office, you already gave them the power to stereotype you. They judge you from the way you knock, the way you walk in, the way you shake hands to the way you sit.        Every time you knock on somebody's door, you place yourself at their mercy.

Therefore; dont meet people in  their offices. Invite them to your office. I must clarify here and point you to a certain diversion. This is it. Though I laid my foundation with a physical office, I am not talking about the physical office. The physical office has helped us to establish the argument.  Now shift with  me to mentality offices. People occupy the seat you offer them when they meet you in your office. Don't offer them a seat (in your mind) that gives them the upper hand over you.

    The way you present yourself to a person determines whose office you're in. If you present yourself as desperate, you are in their office. If you make it clear that they need you more than  you need them, they are now in your office. If you show a man that you cannot do without him, you have walked into his office and are at his mercy. 

    You need a certain degree of assertiveness to be able to control the direction a conversation or relationship takes. You cannot direct a conversation in another man's office. Therefore in the initial stages of a conversation or relationship, try to draw the person into your office by being assertive over what you have to offer.

    Do not get into a relationship with a man who thinks he is doing you a favour. He must see what you have to offer long before you say yes. One-sided admiration is a wrong foundation for a relationship. The admiration must be mutual. Though he could be doing much better in life than you, you must present yourself in such a way as to show him your value. Then only can you have a say in the direction of the relationship. 

     Do not go to people. Build yourself to the extent that you can draw them to you. The people you approach control the conversation and the resolutions of such conversations. The people who come to you come ready to listen to your instruction. Therefore let them come to you. A woman who approaches a man for a relationship is very likely setting herself up for an abusive relationship. Let the man discover your worth and come to you. Then he will be in your office.

    A man who approaches a woman for a relationship must first build his tower so high that it can be seen from far. Then only can you draw her from her fantasy castle to join you in your palace. 

    The first step towards building a relationship where you will be valued is to first discover your value. If you don't know what you're worth, people will not either.  If you don't state your value, people will take advantage of you. The statement of value; however, is not verbal. It is done by creating an ambience that precedes you when you enter the room.

     A person who wants be in a place where they are valued must build that place themselves. There is no place you will have more honour than the place that you created. Create the atmosphere that you hold your conversations in. Create the ambience in which you strike business deals. If you walk into an existing aura, you adjust to it. If you create your own, people come into it and adjust to it.

     There must be unwritten rules of engagement on the walls of your mental office. People come to you and they read them before engaging with you. What do the rules on your wall read? Do they tell people to respect you or to take advantage of you?

    Success is like rain; it comes in bulk and only fits in the package you had made ready. If you package your expectation of success in a glass, your success will be a glassful.  Success replaces expectation. If you package your expectation in a tank, your success will fill the tank. Package yourself in the measure that you expect your success. 

    You want honour? Package yourself in it. You want to command respect? Create an atmosphere for respect in your thoughts and expectation. 

    Never let another person create the walls of the office you transact business in. They will hang the rules of engagement on the walls they built. Create the confines of the debate arena and hang your rules on them. 

Minister Felix Joe.

IN MY WORLD

The world is not as big as you imagine. No. It is not one very big world! It is very many worlds in which everyone has a chance to be king (or queen). In your world, you can be anything you want.
In your world there are people who are the most important.  They may not be VIPs in the common world but in your world they are irreplaceable.
There are people who determine every decision you make because they are constantly in your mind and all your decisions are intertwined with their welfare.
In the same world, there are people who do not exist. They are right there in front of you but they do not exist in your world. You have never taken notice of them. You never think of them as you make your decisions. They could have taken notice of you and you may, indeed, be a VIP in their lives but they do not exist in yours.
There is also someone in whose world you do not exist. Someone you have wished they would notice you but they just don't.  To them, you do not exist.

Isn't this how to some of us God is the very centre of our existence yet to others, He doesn't exist?
He could be at the centre of every decision some people make and yet completely inexistent to others.
In His world; however, you are a VIP. He loved you so much that He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for you. He noticed you. Each day He longs for you to notice Him.

In my world He is the King of kings and Lord of lords. He is the irreducible minimum and greatest denominator. He is the beginning and the end, the first and the last, the Alpha and Omega.

Where does He rank in your world?

Minister Felix.

WHAT A (WO)MAN ACTUALLY NEEDS.

HOW TO BECOME ATTRACTIVE.

The first thing Adam gave Eve was an identity. A woman comes to a man seeking an identity.  She will even change her name for you. She will be called mother when she finds you. Too bad if she comes to a man who does not know who he is or who she is. She wants you to affirm who she believes she is. She wants you to mould her self esteem not destroy it. She wants you to call her something she has never been called. She hopes that you can look into her soul, find out her worth and call it out. She wants you to find the queen in her and call her out. She wants you to change her name to sweetheart, darling and so on.

A woman wants security from you. She wants to settle especially in heart and mind that she is loved and valued and she will never be uncovered. She comes looking for cover. Her favourite position is when she is locked in the arms of a man who values her and loves her above all else. Can you secure her? Can her dreams find security in your arms? Can you cover her or you are just interested in uncovering her? She longs to know that she has security of tenure: that she will never be kicked out. Can you grant her that while you are eyeing her and two or more others? The greatest protection  you can offer her is to protect her from yourself. If she knows that her pain will never come from you she will crown you king over her. The greatest pain that can be inflicted comes from those who are supposed to protect us. Yet, how will you offer her security if you are insecure yourself?

She moves by hearing and instinct. She is lured by what she hears. She is looking for a person who calls her queen but she is listening to your heart not your mouth. Does your heart cry out for her or it's just your mouth? Her instinct is more powerful than her hearing ability. She can sense betrayal long before it happens but sometimes she loves you so much that she silences her instinct. If you go ahead to betray her after she has silenced her instinct she will hate you for it.

A woman is called so because of her womb. She has the power to take seed and conceive from it, incubate it in her womb and give you the same seed when it is multiplied and perfected. This is not just in the literal sense. Have you seen men who seemed like they could amount to nothing become so prosperous after marriage? They were just seeds or carried in them the seed of prosperity until they found the right incubator. But it is not just the good in you that she can incubate. She will incubate anything you give her and give it back to you when it is multiplied. Don't  give her insults. Don't give her complaints. Don't give her frustration. She will incubate it for months or years and will unleash it on you when it is perfected. Give her hope, esteem, confidence, inspiration. She will perfect it and give it back.

The greatest thing a man is looking for is the presence of God although in most cases he is not aware of it. There is nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who carries the presence of God. She is attractive and perfect in every way and the man can rarely express what it is about her that is attractive because it is not physical. Such a woman is attractive because she is submitted. She is submitted to God and men like submitted women. She is attractive because she speaks with grace. She has found grace and therefore the man finds grace in her. She is attractive because she knows how to love. She loves her creator and will not find it hard to love people and him. If she loves the King of kings she will love her king. She knows how to crown a King. She is attractive because her skin glows with glory. He is not attracted to the skin or its  physical glow but its spiritual glow. The man can never pinpoint what exactly attracts him about her. She can have numerous physical flaws but the glory of God covers them. You see the woman found the man in the presence of God but they were kicked out of that presence after sinning against God. He longs for God's presence more than the woman. He longs for God more than he cares to admit and definitely more than he knows.
When he finds a  woman who carries that presence and glory he scores twice at the same time. The greatest tragedy for the man is a woman who draws the glory and presence of God from him. Did you see how he flees after fornication because the glory that attracted him has departed? He is not fleeing from you. He is pursuing that glory that he had seen in you. Most often that not, if he fornicates with a woman who doesn't  carry the glory, he rarely flees. If you knew what attracted him to you you would not allow him to take you to bed before he marries you. As soon as it is gone, he will lose interest.
A woman with God is attractive because she has respect. She respects and honours God and authority. She is attractive because she listens. Faith comes by hearing and if she has it then she is a good listener. She is attractive because she is patient. Walking with God takes patience. If she has been walking with God then she has developed patience. She is attractive because she has a clean heart and soul. She has been washed with the blood of Jesus and she has a pure heart and soul.
The man will never know for certain why he is attracted to her but he will always come back to her.

The Candle and The Sun

Another sundown in a small village in a third world country finds the boys running after the football made from plastic bags collected from the village garbage heap. Their aim is to send the ball behind the two rocks mounted to mimic goal posts on either side of the small space their call their football field. If they are lucky, one team will send the ball zooming past the two stones before it becomes completely dark but if they are unlucky, another boy will yet again mistake the stone for the ball and be off this field for weeks.

As they call for ball and run after it, they are oblivious of the fading light from the sun that is now casting a beautiful grotesque of their shadows behind them. There is no referee in this game, it is just some boys enjoying a good game with a set of unsupervised rules. Everybody knows what the rules are and though they occasionally break into a light argument, it is their undying friendship and love for the game that sees them back to this field every evening after school.

Some of them hope to one day become professional soccer players but for others, it is just a way of passing time and passing time they do. Before anyone can kick the rock, their mothers start yelling out their names from the distant grass-thatched houses they call home. This village has no electrical connection of any kind. Some homes run on small portable and rechargeable lights that they take with them to town each morning and charge in their places of work. Those who cannot afford these battery lights use different kerosene lamps but with the community clinician warning them of the dangers these lamps pose on their health, some have been trying alternatives.

One family has no kerosene on this night and as the last embers of the fire they used to prepare their supper die, they reach out for a candlestick to light it on the fireplace in a bid to save at least one matchstick for tomorrow. This has happened thousands of times across the generations and although they dream of one day living in electrified gated communities in self-contained houses, most of these villagers have never seen a toilet seat. This has been their life and anything else is just a dream.

After the evening prayers, it is bedtime for all. Nobody cares to switch off the small stub left from the candlestick they had broken into two pieces to serve two nights. As they each slip into the safety of their dreams or the nightmares  that haunt their sleep, the candle light flickers in the small room that has sheltered the family of nine as if itself saying a prayer.

The flickering of this light in the otherwise dark room seems to be writing a letter to someone in some sort of Morse code. “Dear Sun, it has been just a few hours since you stopped shining for the day in my village. In that short time these people seemed to remember my worth. I feel so worthless living with this family. With you shining out there for hours in the day I am cast away into oblivion only to be remembered when it is darkest. They do not value me for who I am. No, they only use me when they need to and throw me away as soon as you start shining.

I know that I can never measure up to your glory but at least you get to experience different parts of the world. I have always wondered how you do it, shining throughout without exhaustion while I can only shine for a few minutes. Often too, I have asked myself where you go every evening. Have you ever been to America? I don’t think they would have any use for me in a developed country but you… The Americans and Europeans can’t get enough of you. I see them at candlelit dinners in the Savannah and hear them talking of how they came to enjoy the Sun. How painful it is for me to hear them talking in my presence praising you while enjoying my light. None of them seems to care for me as I waste away trying to make their vacation romantic. They only remember you even though they have to wear sunscreen to protect themselves from your glory.

How I have longed to be like you serving all but a master of all, choosing where to shine and where not, traveling the world and changing seasons. I think you must enjoy so much being the most powerful of all creation with a glory that people can’t even stare at. Oh, I hate the staring. I see people, old and young stare right into my soul as if they empathize with my suffering only to let me die. It is such an ugly life to live knowing that people will only use you and dump you. They don’t care about you but only what they can get from you while you shine. It is like…” Before he could finish, the candle dims away never to see another night.

In the morning, someone throws away the remains of the candle outside in the garbage heap. There in the dirt the sun rays finally get to the candle’s remains to give a reply to the emotional letter. “Dear Candle, I have heard you and I can’t quite say I understand your suffering but I have a few words of wisdom. God in His infinite wisdom created all of us for a reason. It is something called destiny. The destiny of each of us is to solve one or more problems in the world. To some I solve the problem of cold and to others the problem of darkness. Some get to benefit from my light but not my heat. That is my destiny to them. I do not consider myself to be a supreme creation. No, my friend. I just shine. Contrary to what you may have come to believe, I do not go anywhere at night. The world comes to me when they need me. I stay where I am and just shine. My destiny is to shine and so I shine. I do not choose where to shine and where not to. I just shine. I do not choose how bright to shine. I just give it my all.

I cannot worry over all the problems in the world, I only focus on those I can solve: the ones I was created to solve. The firstborn will never solve the problems of the last-born. If you are born the only child in your family, it can be said that you were born to solve the problem of having a child. If another had been born before you, you would not have been born because the problem would have already been solved. If you are the only girl among your siblings, you may have been born to solve the problem of having a girl. If another girl had been born before you… Each of us exists to solve certain problems. Therefore, you must never say that you are being used. That is exactly why God created you. God created the problems and then you for you to solve them. You are only important as long as the problem you were created to solve exists or because of the problems you have solved. If there was no darkness neither you nor I would have been created. Our importance is subject to the presence of a problem we can solve.

Do not hate your problems. Love them. They make you important. Without problems we are all useless. It is the problems we face in life that bring out our value. If men would fly, they wouldn’t need vehicles or planes. That is why birds and fish will never invent vehicles and planes. They simply don’t face the same problems as men. Love your problems, again I say. Light is only important where there is darkness. It cannot complain that darkness is using it. Picture this; with all my glory, there are still some light issues I cannot solve. Nobody thinks that sunshine is romantic. No, they only find it romantic when staring at sunset. They find me more attractive when they are about to lose me. Candlelit dinners will never be replaced by sunbathing. Each of them solves a different problem. Do not compete with those who were created to solve different problems. Just shine when it is your time to shine. You can’t marry all women, there is only one whose problems are yours to solve.

The world is full of darkness even though the sun never loses its strength. In the middle of sunshine there is a person whose soul is as black as coal. The world is a dark place. A thousand suns would not give it enough light because its darkness comes from deep within the souls of men. A candle in the heart of every man would light the world in a way that a million suns couldn’t. There are people losing hope everywhere in the light and in darkness because the sun can’t shine everywhere. In the souls of men I can’t shine. What they need there is a small candle of hope. That is your domain my friend. You can shine in people’s hearts. You can give them light when I cannot. It may not be as bright as my light but sometimes what people need is just a faint light to give them hope. You were created to inspire hope in people. Just a small light that can change destinies. You don’t need to be glorious to be great, you only need to be great at what you were created to do.

Bottom line, do not think at all that people are using you. Take it as your golden opportunity to show the world what you are made of. However short-lived your reign is, make the most impact in it and leave a mark in this world. Truth be told, whoever you are in life, nobody needs you without a problem you can solve. We are all being used: to solve the problems we exist to solve. Whenever you get an opportunity to be used, do it gladly and use it to light up as many faces as you can before your time is over.”                  

Happily Ever After

Having a dream is one of the greatest motivators that one can ever have. That goal in life that keeps you desiring to wake up the next day to chase it. A dream can cause you to endure the worst of experiences in life and brave the greatest of adversities in its pursuit. People who have a dream are generally focused in life. One would give up many things and some can even give up everything to pursue a dream.

            Sleepless nights of planning and strategizing often precede the realisation of a dream. When you have a dream it occupies all quotas of your life. It is the greatest tenant of the mental faculties and the most important drive of your passion.

            It follows then that when we are young we are encouraged to dream. No dream is too big, we are told. Dream big. So we dream. We dream of being engineers, doctors, lawyers, surgeons, neurosurgeons, pilots. The list can go on and on and on. We dream of owning big and beautiful homes, marrying the best spouse and raising the most disciplined children on the planet. I mean, sometimes we even dream of marrying someone out of this world and raising kids in a different planet away from the corruption of planet earth.

            If you are wondering where I am headed and trying to marry this introduction with the title, let me help you out. I have a question for you that will mark the shift of this discussion. If you may, call it a series of questions. To begin with, what happens when you are living your dream?

            That’s right. We all appreciate the bliss of dreaming big. Doesn’t it sound great when you relate your dream to the anxious ears of friends and family and you see the sparkle in their eyes as they begin to grasp the vast scope of your imagination? Of course it does. However, if you are fortunate enough, you actually get to live your dream.

            Living your dream can wax a conglomeration of emotions. There is the ecstasy of making of, the thrill of success, they joy of arrival, the merry of completion, the pride of the conquest, the disbelief of victory among others. In that moment when you sign the marriage certificate and the crowd cheers you on as you stand facing the most perfect soul alive about to receive your first (public) kiss, the fears and worries of the world seem to fly away.

            As you close your eyes and feel the lips of your lifetime partner so tender and alive, the world around you fades out into oblivion and you enter into your own world with only three words on every street, “happily ever after.” It is the utmost bliss.

            As you stand at the hostel door of your coveted university with your suitcases at your feet and you breath in the air of academic conquest, the sleepless nights of high school are forgotten having all paid off. It was worth it. Those few minutes of absorbing the fact that you made it into your dream university and that your career path is finally aligned can be overwhelming. The euphoria of the moment makes you oblivious of the anxiety of your parents as they hand you over to the world.

            Looking up into the skies filled with graduation caps from your colleagues who toiled the rigours of campus life with you as you finally graduate fills the heart with merry. The caps almost look like fireworks in the sky as the bliss settles into your soul. You made it!

            We have all had a glorious moment of celebrating achievements in our lives however big or small they were. There was that moment when you finally beat your academic rival in primary school, the moment you graduated at any level of school, the moment you learned to ride a bicycle, that day you received your driver’s license, got married, held your firstborn child in your arms, got your first job, got promoted at work, the day he finally proposed, that day she said yes, name it.

            Following the achievement, you definitely expected to live happily ever after, but are you? Well, life is complicated. You dreamt it for years. It was the thing that motivated you to wake up each day for months or years but when you finally achieved it, what happened then?

We all come to that moment when we realise that our dream wasn’t that big after all. Which brings me to yet another question. Is it possible that the joy comes not from actually living the dream but from the hope of realising the dream? Is it possible that what really we need in life is a dream; not its realisation? How come we are fuller of life when dreaming than when living the dream? I mean, now that you have your driver’s license or graduation certificate, are you still as excited as you were the day you went to collect it?

As you watch any romantic movie, soap opera or read a book on the theme of the triumph of love, you always long for that line that reads, “And they lived happily ever after.” Let us take a few minutes here and dissect that “happily ever after.” Is it ever, really happily ever after? If it is, how come it only happens in the movies? Lets’ drive it further. If indeed it even happened in the movies, how come there has never been a release that showed us how they were living happily ever after? Am just asking.

So did I take my time to write this just to burst the bubble of those who dream of a happily ever after? Not at all. I merely wrote to propose one thing. You cannot have one dream in life because the moment you realise your dream, your life loses its purpose. Human beings were created, among other reasons, to dream. Without a dream life has no meaning and that includes the period after realising your dream. Once you achieve what you have always dreamt of, you no longer have a dream and without a dream, you have no purpose. Not in this world.

If you always dreamt of getting married, contrary to what you may have come to believe, your life loses meaning on your wedding day. If you only dreamt of having kids, the day your lastborn comes to this earth will be the last of your meaningful days. Each person needs a dream bigger than what they can realise in their lifetime. You need to dream again after realising your dream. One of the most sombre things I ever heard in the university was this statement, “I studied to come to the university: I did not come to the university to study.” When you hear such a statement you don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

There are however many unspoken variants of that statement in various spheres of life. One would say, “He used to be romantic before the wedding.” Well, he was romantic to get a wife: he did not get a wife to be romantic! Interpolate if you are a man.

Are you living with someone who has lost that sparkle that attracted you to them? Maybe they just lost their dream (either by realising it or coming to the conclusion that they can’t.) The only thing you can do to enjoy life with such a person again is to help them dream again. Inspire a dream in them that is bigger than their lifespan.

Are you that person who used to talk big as you pursued your dream and now you find yourself sulking as if life has no meaning? Probably you are wondering what happened. It is not always calamity that causes people with big dreams to sulk.

THE LAST SAFE HOUSE.

THE LAST SAFE HOUSE.

When the Israelites came to the Red Sea, they looked behind and saw the hosts of Pharaoh pursuing them. In that moment of fear and anxiety, they forgot where they had come from. In that face of abject annihilation they forgot all the pain they had endured in Egypt. At the face of extinction, they forgot the glories of their deliverance from Egypt. When they opened their mouths, this is what they said.

Exodus 14

11"Because there were no graves in Egypt, have you taken us away to die in the wilderness? Why have you so dealt with us, to bring us up out of Egypt?

 12 "Is this not the word that we told you in Egypt, saying, 'Let us alone that we may serve the Egyptians?' For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than that we should die in the wilderness."

They had completely forgotten how they had cried to God at the lash of their taskmasters’ whip. They had forgotten how difficult their days of slavery had been in those days when they cried out to God. For four hundred and thirty years they had been enslaved by the Egyptians to serve in their fields and brick making. At some point Pharaoh ordered the execution of their infants. However, as they stood there faced by the Red Sea before them, the wilderness on the right and the left and Pharaohs ruthless army, the cry of their children as they fell to the sword of their taskmasters seemed to be drowned by the immediate threat.

They saw Moses as threatening their very existence by taking them from their slavery. At that moment, when they were faced by certain death, their errantly reasoned that it would have been better to serve their masters than to die in the wilderness. As the waves of the Red Sea beat upon the coast it brought to their minds ripples of fear and destruction. The gaze to the wilderness around them burned through their minds so that they lost all memory of the pain they had gone through in Egypt.

How could they forget their scourged backs? How could they forget the whip of the lash in the scorching sun of Egypt as they toiled day in for four hundred and thirty years? How could they forget the scars that they bore on their backs? How could they not just look at their hands and see the disfiguration from the toils of brick and mortar? How could they ever long for the place they buried their innocent children whose only crime had been being born? How could they say it would have been better to never taste freedom?

Nonetheless, as they reasoned then; how was it any better to be rescued from their slavery only to die in the wilderness? As they stood there stranded, they forgot the victories God had given them in Egypt just before they left. The plagues that God had struck Egypt with on their account evaporated from their minds. All they could picture was their end. They seemed to forget how God had brought darkness on all Egypt for three days yet giving them light in their households throughout. They seemed to forget how God had made distinction between His people and the Egyptians during the ten plagues. Who could blame them? None of those victories and deliverances could make sense to a dying man.

Only that they were not dying. No, at least not on that day. Unknown to them, God was preparing for them their greatest victory over Egypt yet. That would be last day they would lay eyes on their taskmasters. The armies of Pharaoh were not pursuing the extinction of the Israelites but their own. What they did not know in that time of their misplaced longing was that the greatest trials yield the greatest triumph and the greatest pain, the greatest gain. God saw their unbelief and how quick they were to lose hope and trust in Him and decided to do something that has not been replicated to date, that they may know He is Lord. He parted the seas and provided dry passage for them. They would understand later that what threatens man does not even move God. God made a way for them right in the middle of what was threatening them.

As I ponder on the events that took place that day by the Red Sea, I can only compare it to our lives today. I would not be so quick to condemn the cowering of the Egyptians and their longing for bondage because I have also been there.

You see, when we are going through so much pain or experiencing too much uncertainty, we forget all the past pains and long for the last safe house. What do I mean? The last safe house does not necessarily mean that you were safer there. Not at all. It only means that it is the last place or time you experienced certainty. For instance, Israel wasn’t safer or happier in Egypt but they had some certainty there. While they were yet in Egypt they had food, they knew where the wells of water were, and they knew what to do to avoid dying. However, in the wilderness they were not sure what would kill them first; whether the thirst, the hunger, the sea, the heat or pharaoh’s army.

The human mind longs for and finds safety in certainty. You feel safer if you are in control. For example, you may not be screaming for fear when you drive yourself at a hundred and sixty kilometres per hour. If someone else is stepping on the accelerator and the speedometer starts nearing the same speed, you start panicking. You forget that when you were driving you were faced by the same dangers. When the mind starts registering chances of death or the uncertainty of life, past pains, traumas and victories alike are forgotten. It is then that we begin casting a longing eye on the last safe house.

We may not always be in control and most definitely there will come times that we are uncertain of the future. A failed relationship or marriage is a time of uncertainty. It is no wonder that in those times some people will begin wandering in their minds to their last safe house. The mind begins straying to the last relationship where you were certain. You may find yourself longing for a previous lover, completely oblivious of the pains that made you quit the relationship. You start forgetting how abusive the person was and start longing for that time that you at least had someone to come home to. When painful moments crop up in a relationship, the mind starts to wander to the past, finding safety in the sweet memories of previous relationship while obscuring the horrors of the same. It is like the Egyptians longing for the Melons of Egypt (their land of bondage). Yes indeed, there were melons and garlics and cucumbers in Egypt but it was also a place of intolerable horrors.

Have you ever found yourself there? In that place where at the face of uncertainty you start looking for safety in the past? Are you there right now? In that place where the only safe place you know is the past? I am writing to call your memory to attention. Your last safe house wasn’t safe at all. When you yet lived in it you wished out. You dreaded another day there and that was why you left in the first place. There are, of course, those who feel that their last safe house was indeed safe. The last relationship, job, and so on was not infested with horrors and that it was just misunderstandings that caused them to leave. The truth is that if you go back you will find that the place has changed a lot. Do not cast a longing eye at the last man who treated you right. He may be married already and your last safe house under new management. It was safe then but right now it will only cause you pain. Listen to me. Your bed in the last safe house has been occupied by another person. It is no longer safe.

Do not look for safety in the past. Even if it was safe then, you cannot live in the past. The last safe house is state of confusion in loneliness where the soul is living in the past, the body in the present and the mind in the future. Such a state will only disintegrate you. It will ruin, not heal you. As it was on that day when Israel stood at the shores of the Red sea oblivious of what God was doing in the background, so it is for you. You may be seeing only the certain failure and uncertainty ahead of you, the threats behind you and the hopelessness around you but I guarantee you that God is preparing for your best miracle yet. In due time God will lay out a red carpet for you right in the middle of what is threatening you. Fear not for you are not alone. Have you made the Lord your redeemer and saviour? He will save you and rescue you from the perceived extinction.

Don’t camp in the past. Hope in God.... (Watch out for Part II)

THE SPIRIT OF REVELATION

Jesus stayed with His disciples for about 3 years. In that time He related with them as teacher and would later call them friends.
Peter came to love Jesus so much that in the end he swears that he could die for Him.
So strong was Peter's love for Jesus that he was willing to defend Jesus with the sword.
I never saw this until recently, though. Peter Loved Jesus as a brother and not as Lord.

Follow through with me and I will show you. You remember when  Jesus rebuked Peter with the infamous, "get thee behind me..."? Peter was trying to protect 'the man', Jesus and he so got in the way of 'the Lord', Jesus. When He looked at Jesus he saw Him as a brother and would have done anything for the 'man'.
But he did not see Jesus as Lord and even when he finally did (see Jesus as the Christ) he still did not understand.

Matthew 16:16 Simon Peter answered and said, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."
 How could he understand? He was not yet filled with the Spirit and the things of God are spiritually discerned.

1 Corinthians 2:14 But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know [them,] because they are spiritually discerned.
He couldn't get the clear picture of who Jesus was until he was filled with the Spirit. This is because the Holy Spirit only can reveal Jesus.
You see, God performed the greatest of miracles before Israel in Egypt and in the wilderness but they still rebelled and hardened their hearts. How could they do such a thing with all the miracles they saw? I will tell you how.
Israel saw the miracles with the eyes of the flesh. Their eyes saw the deliverance but their hearts did not perceive the liberation. Therefore their bodies were out of bondage but their hearts remained enslaved. You see,  it is only the Holy Spirit who can decode to the heart what the eyes are seeing or what the ears are hearing.
Without the Holy Spirit nothing you see God do for you or in you will ever really transform you. However, when the Holy Spirit tells your heart who Jesus or the Father is and What they have done for you, that there is the game changer.  It is called a Revelation.
Hearing or seeing without revelation is like listening to a foreign language. You can hear it loud and clear but you can't understand any of it or its significance. The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Revelation. At the baptism of Jesus He descended on Him as a dove to 'reveal' him to the world, although that revelation served John the Baptist more than the rest.

Look at this scripture to help you understand.
John 21:15-17 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep." The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.
Jesus asked Peter 3 times,  "Do you love me..?" Each time Peter answered in the affirmative until the third time he got offended.
I looked up the Greek version of it and I was amazed.
The first two times Jesus asked about agape (the love of God) and Peter answered about philia (the love of friends/ brotherly love)
Jesus asked Peter, "Do you [agape] me?" To say, "Do you love me as your God/Lord?  Each time Peter replied, "You know I [philia] you." To say, "You know I love you like a brother."
Jesus was indeed like a brother to Peter but with revelation Peter could have known that Jesus was more than a brother.  He could have seen the Lordship of Jesus. When you see with your eyes you see okay but when you see by the Spirit you see deeper and right.
He is the Spirit of Revelation. His work is to reveal God and Jesus to you that you may know Him as He is. His work also is to reveal the God in you to the world.
Embrace Him today; the Spirit of Revelation.

THE STILL SMALL VOICE

The church has gotten so used to shouting that they don't hear anyone who doesn't shout.
Unfortunately,  God often speaks with a still small voice. The church therefore doesn't hear God anymore.  They only hear the preachers.
In times of crisis they don't run to God,  they run to pastors. In times of joy they don't give glory to God.  They glorify the priests.  After all,  it wasn't God they heard when they cried.

When a pastor preaches without shouting they sleep in church. When the preacher shouts all are attentive.
Welcome to the 21st century,  where we have MP3s, DVDs, I pods,  I pads,  home theatres at home, woofers in our vehicles,  earphones and blue tooth players in our ears;  all designed to drown the still small voice.
Welcome to the technology age;  where the media speaks louder than your own conscience. What you saw on TV,  read in the Internet or heard on radio speaks to you more than the still small voice of your conscience.
Unfortunately,  more people are depressed by what they heard than anything else. People slip into depression because of what the doctor said,  what their spouse said, what their 'friends' said,  what the news said: all because we have been listening wrong.
Rather than read the Good News of life and resurrection,  we prefer to turn on our Tvs and watch news of murders and deaths.
Rather than read the Good News of salvation and hope of glory, we prefer to watch the news of disaster,  calamity and hopelessness.
Instead of worshipping God we have devised a way of solving that nagging urge in our spirits. We carry worship songs in our phones and cars to do the worshipping for us finding false security in the good feeling we get when the songs are playing. It is as good as worshipping,  we say to ourselves,  only we don't actually worship God. Mostly we don't turn on the music player so we can worship but so we escape the silence. In so doing we drown every urge that God puts in our spirits to talk to Him.
If you want to make a congregation say Amen,  shout. If you want them to keep coming for more,  make them shout.  What will happen to the still small voice when the atmosphere is flooded with noise of loudspeakers,  car alarms, blaring car horns, ambulance, police and fire engine sirens?
The prisons of the world have discovered a more effective way to torture information out of suspects and criminals. The old methods of physical torture making people scream are no longer yielding.  Solitary confinement is more sure. The silence will drive the toughest of criminals nuts.
Nobody wants silence. We have gotten addicted to noise.  It doesn't matter what your wife/husband says to you, provided he/ she doesn't give you the silent treatment.
Meanwhile we have lost sight of the things that matter. Instead of listening to what God is saying we are busy shouting Amen. Instead of listening to the cries of our children we are busy listening to the sub woofers. Instead of listening to the desires of our spouses we are busy listening to the gossip of other people's spouses in soap operas.
No one takes a moment of silence in prayer and meditation to hear God. No! We prefer God to hear what we have to say than to hear what God has to say.
Nobody testifies in church anymore what God says to them. How can we when we are busy telling everyone what we told God?
Five arms of the church there are;  Evangelists,  Pastors,  Teachers,  Apostles and Prophets. The first four are alive and kicking but the fifth is in the ICU.
The prophet has no work.  How can he unless he hears God? So am I saying that the other four should speak without hearing God? Of course not! But see, they can speak based on what God has already said in His Word.  The prophet; however,  must hear God daily.  You cannot prophesy what God did in Egypt in the time of Moses.  You have to hear that which God is  saying today!
The prophetic voice is the voice of God. I fear that that voice is no longer loud enough (a problem we can easily solve by being silent enough)
When was the last time you heard the chirping of the birds or the crow of the cock? It's just not quiet enough. If we will not hear the cries of our own families how shall we hear the cry of the world.  People who go to bed hungry.  People who go to the grave in sin.
So shout friend,  shout at the top of your voice.  Shout hallelujah.  Shout Amen.  Shout at your wife.  Shout at your husband.  Shout at your children. Shout at the entire world. But don't forget to observe silence for just ten minutes.
It might shock you what you have been missing in all this noise.

Isaiah 30:15 For thus says the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel:  " In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength." But you would not,

CHRISTIANITY IS NOT A RELIGION

When you enumerate the religions of the world, dis-include Christianity.
I know it sounds outrageous because all your life you have been taught that it was.

Religion basically has to do with the teachings of the founder of that belief system. These teachings outlive the founder and continue to thrive long after the founder is dead.
In fact, when Buddha was about to die, his students asked him how he would like them to remember him and he told them not to bother about remembering him. He told them it is enough to remember his teachings.

Islam thrives long after the death of Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) because if you follow his teachings you can be a good Muslim.
But not Christianity!!!
If Jesus had not resurrected, Christianity would have been buried with Him.

A dead Buddha doesn't affect Buddhism.
A dead Muhammed ( Peace be upon him) doesn't shake Islam.
But a dead Jesus sure does affect Christianity.

If you follow the teachings of Jesus Christ,  it will not make you a Christian.
Jesus did not say, "I will show you the way! " No! He said, " I am the way! "

John 14:6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.
As long as the world has existed, no one else has had the guts to make such an outrageous claim.

He did not say, "follow my teachings". No! He said, "carry your cross and follow me"

Lu 14:27 "And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.

Jesus was audacious enough to claim not only to know the door but also to claim that He is that door.

John 10:9 "I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.

 So as you can see, Christianity is not about following the teachings of the Christ. It is about following the Christ. Indeed, there are those who are caught up in what is known widely as the Christian 'Religion' (I put that in quotes intentionally) but no religion can save man including the Christian 'religion'

In fact the Bible says that there is only one name under heaven by which man can be saved. That name is not Christianity but Jesus Christ.

Ac 4:12 "Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved."

Religion has to do with man's futile attempts at reaching and pleasing God. Every Religion has a set of ethics which when fulfilled will ensure eternal bliss. But Christianity is the only way that tells man that there is nothing he can do that will be good enough before a perfect God.
So as to say, while religions show people how to get to God, in Christianity God is looking for man!!!
The religions of the world tell you how to please God but Christianity tells you that God loved you while you were yet a sinner.
Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Furthermore, it is stated that our righteousness cannot come close to pleasing God.

Isaiah 64:6 ¶ But we are all like an unclean thing, And all our righteousnesses are like filthy rags;

While the God depicted in the world religions will only be pleased with you after you obey some teachings, the Christian God loves you already. He is not waiting for you to do some righteous things so that He can accept you. He is waiting for you to see the righteous acts He has done and accept Him.

in other words, Religion is man's way of finding God but Christianity is God's way of finding man,

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
  17 "For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

Religions' gift to man is a set of teachings by which they can become better people and have hope in the hereafter. Christianity's gift to man is Jesus Christ, the hope of all glory for in Him we live and move and have our being,

Col 1:27 To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

Ac 17:28 "for in Him we live and move and have our being,

If you check for similarities in the religions of the world, Christianity will stand out, so much that it will cease to be a religion.
No religion offers any salvation for man.
No religious man or leader ever died for a guilty man let alone a guilty world.
No religious man or leader was ever religious enough to rise from the dead!
They all claimed to show us the way yet only one claimed to be the way!

I dare say Christianity is not a religion. And further, I am without a religion. I am not following the teachings of Jesus Christ. I am following the teacher; Jesus Christ. 

Shopping For A Spouse

"I do!"
Those two words form the longest sentence in the English vocabulary. Quite frankly, it is a life sentence. If you are not married, you probably have a list of golden traits you desire to see in the person you get married to before you say "I do!" You obviously don't want to commit yourself for life to someone with undesirable qualities.
Well I'd hate to burst your bubble but... You remember that happy couple who recently came from their honeymoon? How happy they seemed as they testified of how great marriage life is? Well it was not an entirely true testimony! They exaggerated. Truth be told, marriage is great! I am not married but I know God wouldn't author anything that is not good. That is how I know that it is a good thing.

I have always been painfully honest. Some like that about me and some choose to give me a pretty wide social berth for that trait. I don't know how to call a spade a big spoon? I am offended by the very thought that one would call it so. I have often-times tried to call the toilets wash-rooms and conveniences while seeking direction but I find that most people just don't understand me so I resort to calling them as they are, "toilets!" Well, everybody knows where the toilets are when you call them that way!
So allow me to state the issues as they are without too many decorations. Regardless of how clean a toilet is, no one will eat from there. There is no perfect marriage! The Bible itself says that he who gets married will have many troubles.

New International Version
But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. 1 Corinthians 7:28

So what are those troubles? It is only after you get married that you realise how the phrase, "love is blind" conned you. Marriage is a real eye-opener. It helps you see all those annoying habits of the guy/girl who just a few days ago seemed so perfect. What, with the wedding preparations you start seeing his/her anger side but you dismiss it as the stress of preparations. In marriage the curtains drop and they never go up again. Be very careful when you unveil her, you may not like what you see.
Married people will tell you how great marriage is. It is like they attend some training where they are all taught how to say the same thing. I call it the marriage motto, “Oh it's great! Sure we have our challenges but it's great!" Boy, you wish they elaborated on those challenges. It is the small foxes that spoil the vine
Song of Solomon 2:15NKJV
Catch us the foxes,
The little foxes that spoil the vines,
For our vines have tender grapes.


You see, small things like pressing the toothpaste from the centre of the tube, leaving the toilet seat up, the hair that gets stuck in the comb, the little white spots in the mirror, locking the door, the remote control, the volume of prayer and so on and so forth can really spoil the vine. But they don't tell you that they suffer from the disease of leaving socks in the living room until you sign the little dotted lines on the marriage certificate. In fact, as you say you do, you have no idea what you are doing. It is much later that you ask yourself, "What did I do?"

So naturally, it goes without saying that you would have a list of qualifications, the size of the Bible, before you say those two words that trap you for life.
Now, as you move along you realise that very few can meet ten out of your million desired traits and you start lowering your expectations as the clock ticks and your mates keep getting married. Of course you meet them in the shopping mall and they look so happy (for the cameras) and you wonder why you can't find a nice guy/girl like them.

The problem isn't in making the list! The problem is how you do the shopping! Most people will take the list and start checking and crossing out the traits as they check out. That is the first category that hosts the vast majority. The second category will start praying for a guy/girl that fits the traits.
There is a third option that most people are not even aware of. It is exactly why I wrote this article. To tell you the third option.
You see, you are created in the image and likeness of the creator. That means you can create! You can create a guy/girl that fits your description of a spouse. How? I am glad you asked.

A model prayer for spouse looks more or less like this, " Dear Lord I pray that you will give me a God-fearing, caring, loving, understanding, intelligent, handsome blah blah blah..." Then after the prayer you sit out on the  lawn and start comparing the guys with the list and discover...
The handsome aren't caring, the caring aren't handsome, the intelligent aren't understanding, the beautiful aren't submissive, the prayerful aren't exactly miss universe and so on and so forth...

So what happens? You either lower you standards or grow a white moustache (or hit menopause) waiting. That is, if you were not blessed enough to read this article. In this article I tell you of option number 3.
Okay, I am guilty of creating suspense so let me just cut to the chase. Option 3 is to start creating that girl in your prayers. The Bible says that there is life and death in the power of your tongue and that you shall declare a thing and it shall be established. Job 22:28. So start decreeing!
Here is an example...
"Dear Lord I know that you have created a special person for me. I also know that there is no one who is perfect. I know I have a lot of junk to work on and that special someone probably does too. I ask you for grace to work on my own shortcomings. I also ask that you will create in him/her an understanding heart. I pray that you will cause the fear of you to come upon him/her..." and so on and so forth
Hold out that list and begin to create that person out in prayer attribute after the other as you work out the same qualities in your own life. For crying out loud, there is no requirement to close your eyes as you pray! So, hold the list and read as you pray for God to create each virtue in that wreck of a man/woman who will eventually become your spouse. In your own six days (that it took God to create) you will come up with that desirable man/woman.
You want a patient man/ woman? Create one. You want a faithful husband? He is in your tongue! You want a submissive wife? She is in Your Tongue!

Practice this and give me your feedback.
Please click on the advertisement below to see my NEW website. I will be posting blog posts there.
Also see the video on the top left.

Minister Felix Joe,

You will Never Have To Do Anything

YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO DO ANYTHING AGAIN.

On the 2nd of October 2014 around 1:30 am in the morning I arrived in Mumbai (Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport). It was my first time in India and I didn't know so many people. I only knew one Pastor James Chacko who I had met earlier in Nairobi briefly (for about 5 mins). I didn't have his phone number though. Only an email address. In fact, I didn't have the phone number of anyone in India.
Pastor Abey Abraham was waiting for me at Bajpe Airport in South India. Pastor Chacko had connected me to him but even they had never met before. (God was the only one known to all of us and hence the link).
It was almost 3pm on 3rd October 2014 when I arrived at Bajpe Airport. With a passport photo I had earlier emailed him, Pastor Abey with his son identified me and took me as their guest.
Our small chat in his car(new at the time,  one would say he bought it to pick me up at the airport) forms the solid background of this post.
English is neither his first or second language but he does a remarkable job at it. At first I had trouble grasping his sentence construction but it proved worthwhile. I want to pick one statement he used that day and develop a really interesting post out of it. This is what he said, "In order to come to India, you want to get a passport and visa. Right?"
He had me confused for a while as I tried to process his question. 'Want to?' I thought to myself. 'I didn't want to go through the process of acquiring the visa and passport. I HAD TO!' But to keep it simple I answered, "yes indeed. "
Over the coming days and months he would continue to use 'want to...' in the places I would have him use 'have to...'
I often thought I should correct his grammar but something kept telling me not to.
As it turns out, a message would be developed from his grammar that would change my life for ever. I began thinking deeply about these words and it brought up this scripture to my mind.

Matthew 5:38-42 "You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also. If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. Give to those who ask, and don't turn away from those who want to borrow.

These words were spoken by Jesus Christ but it would be the words of Pastor Abey that would help me understand what Jesus was saying.
What Jesus was indeed saying is this, 'If someone compels you to do what you don't want to do; start liking it and then it won't be out of compulsion but out of your will that you do it.' In other words, Jesus was saying that life would be easier to bear if we turned our 'HAVE TO s' into 'WANT TO s'.
Let me give you some examples, imagine that in your mind, the things you would otherwise not do became desirable to you. For instance, waking up in the morning is an infamous 'have to' for most people. But what happens when you have something exciting to do on a certain day? The 'HAVE TO' wake up early turns into 'WANT TO' wake up early and you actually enjoy it.
Life is grumpy and dull when you are doing the things you 'HAVE TO' but quite a thrill when you are doing what you 'WANT TO'.
Here are some HAVE TO s that you can turn to WANT TO s and enjoy life more.

Have to wake up? Want to wake up!
Have to stay up late? Want to stay up late!
Have to go to work? Want to go to work!
Have to wear that uniform? Want to wear it!
Have to live a righteous life? Want to live in righteousness!
Have to become a better husband? Want to be a better husband!
Have to be a submissive wife? Want to submit to your husband!
Have to go to Church? Want to dwell in the house of the Lord!
Have to do your homework? Want to finish that homework today!
Have to finish your project before the deadline? Want it done by tonight!
Have to communicate with her more often? Want to share all your experiences with her!
Have to sit and listen to him gloat about himself? Want to listen to his achievements!
Have you do the dishes/laundry? Want to be cleaner and tidier!
Have to fast and pray? Want to tap into the Spiritual by fasting and praying!
Have to read your Bible? Want to know God more as revealed in His word!
What are your HAVE TO s? Make them WANT TO s. The beauty with that is that you will never have to do any thing again.
Don't go the extra mile because you have to; go because you want to.

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN.

All the fishes, whales, and dolphins convened an urgent meeting. "It is a matter of life and death," said Tuna the chair of the meeting.
The agenda was mainly to discuss how they would survive the tough times ahead. If they failed to come up with a solution quickly, they would be facing extinction in a matter of days. Something had to be done and very fast!
But from the heated arguments and hurling of insults at the meeting, coupled up with the despair at the face of possible extinction, it hardly seemed that the meeting would come up with a solution soon.
Sea urchin sat at the corner seemingly helpless. Once he had attempted to intervene and cool the temperatures a bit but he received a sharp rebuke from Whale, "Who even invited you to this meeting? Urchin! Shut up or I will..."
He did not wait for Whale to finish the threat. He knew, from witnessing his family members before him perish, what Whale was capable of.
Shark was getting impatient. His sharp teeth glimmering at the sun rays penetrating the sea contrasted with the waters to give a definition of death. Urchin knew that if the coming extinction does not end him, Shark would be most honoured to do him that favour. He just wished that they would allow him to just speak what was on his mind.
Starfish was the first to come up with the first sensible idea. "A tree without fruit does not suffer the wrath of stones thrown by boys," he began. One would wonder when ever Starfish saw boys throwing stones at trees but he was quite the philosophical type. "The good book says that No weapon fashioned against you shall prosper and that the end of a thing is better than the beginning," continued Starfish.
"Now he can even read? " Urchin thought to himself.
The peace that hung in the atmosphere with every word that proceeded from the mouth of Starfish brought a ray of hope to every sea creature present in the meeting. A dead silence hang about as they all listened to the philosophical Starfish.
"We know that in all things we are more than conquerors.  Certainly we shall overcome this uncertainty. Remember Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego? " Well, no one else in the meeting could say they had ever heard of these three but they let him continue anyway. After all, they were the only words that had brought hope to any of them since the announcement. "Even in the very heart of the scorching furnace they believed against hope that they would overcome and they did. We, brethren, are cut from the same fabric of overcomers. I say we shall overcome!" continued Starfish amidst cheers and guggles as the sea creatures opened their mouths to let in some of the salty water. "But we need to pray!" None of the creatures understood what that exactly meant but they knew that if it was coming from Starfish it was worth a try. Even Shark hoovered by keenly listening to the wisdom of Starfish. All this while, though, Urchin was growing impatient wondering when it would be his turn to speak. He, however, knew that so long as Starfish had the attention, no one would be eating him so he sat patiently at his corner.
"This thing about praying, " interjected Whale," how exactly does it work? "
" Well, am glad you asked . We must win this battle on our knees! " Not even Shark could control his laughter at that point." Starfish, we don't have knees! " he said amidst the laughter.
" Well, it's a cliché. It means we pray to conquer the battles we are facing!" explained Starfish.
"Well I say we hit back at them! This is utter discrimination! How can they just decide who gets to live and who perishes. We attack at midnight! Who's with me? " Shark remarked.
" Two problems with that, Shark. For one, we will never tell what time is midnight. Secondly, and most importantly, hitting back will mean we stoop down to their level, " Starfish intervened again with his wisdom.
" Can... I... speak... now? ", stammered Urchin from his corner. " Shut up! " shouted all the delegates at the meeting. With that Urchin crawled back under the coral.
" As I  was saying, before I was rudely interrupted," Starfish continued. "God will fight for us and we know that in Him we shall overcome. We need to bind these forces of darkness that have risen against us. This is warfare! You all know that the devil uses creatures when he wants to fight you. We cannot fight as one who throws fists at the air.  We need strategy. We need tact. We need to act in wisdom. So this is what we shall do, we fast for three days... "
" I think we can hear Urchin now," remarked Shark at the sound of that. "I am almost certain that he might say something that would make me eat him before we start the fast." Urchin crawled out of his hiding with the prospect of being heard finally but still uncertain of his survival.
"If I heard Noah's announcement correctly, " he started. " The imminent threat on the face of the earth is a flood! We are not exactly inhabitants of the 'face of the earth'. We are more of what you could call inhabitants of the brain of the earth." All the delegates applauded. " Secondly, I fail to see how we can be threatened by floods. We are Sea creatures for crying out loud! Has any of you considered that what is threatening us is our destiny and we can't escape it? Here we are busy planning to retaliate for what appears to us like a grand conspiracy against us yet it is for our good. All things work together for good... "
" To those who love God and are the called according to His purpose, " Starfish finished the statement. "Urchin, I didn't know you are a believer. He is right you know. If the floods are coming then it vindicates Noah of this perceived conspiracy. He was planning to save us all along! "

That, my friend, is how we sometimes perceive a conspiracy against us when life pushes us to our destiny. Not every rejection is fashioned to destroy you. Think of Joseph. If his brothers had not conspired to sell him to Egypt, he never would have become the prime minister of the super power of the day.
Before you begin fighting back for what you perceive as a conspiracy against you, consider this one verse in the Bible.

Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose."

God has your back! Regardless of what you are facing, something good will come out of it. It is the other side of the coin. In the end we win. Read the last parts of the Bible and find out for yourself. In the end Christ comes back for us and wipes all our tears and takes us to a place where the streets are of gold and the streams make glad. A place where the sun shall no more be our light by day nor the moon at night for God shall be our light.
 Stay blessed. 

PRESENTS OR PRESENCE?

You probably have heard that our values make us who we are. If you haven’t; read that statement again. Our values are inculcated into us from the time we are young. You may, most likely, identify with this. Growing up in Africa was one of two options. Growing in the village or in town.
Now if you grew up in town you remember those times a relative from the village visited. They came loaded with fruits and vegetables and sometimes chicken. Of course there were also the goodies that came up country to those of us who grew up there.
Recently I sat down to reevaluate what that taught us. Every visitor whether from the urban setting or from up country was met with this question. "What have you brought us?" Familiar?
Up till now you may, most likely, still find yourself asking this question.
This is a value that we contracted as children and it may take time to unlearn it. We grew up valuing presents more than presence. It moved us more what was brought us than who brought it. With time this value, which now that we have a common understanding I can call vice, began spreading roots to various aspects of our lives.
We have, today, parents who believe that they can work all week and make up for the vice with presents. Some work out of town only to come home in the weekend loaded with gifts. Pause right there sir. Your children need a father not Father Christmas. Your children need a mother not a visitor. Some of us work away from our families for months and go to visit with gift packs. We have been taught to value presents more than presence.
To a child who dares ask daddy, "Where have you been?" we quickly respond, "Have you lacked anything?" To one who dares say to mum, “You work too late and leave home too early,” we sharply retort, “well someone has to pay the bills!”
Well that's the problem right there. The most important things in life are not things. They are not lacking things. It is you they are lacking. The bills are being paid but there may be one that what you earn in your job can never come close to paying: your presence!

We leave our homes before the kids wake up and come back when they are asleep. We're careful to provide for their material needs while we neglect their emotional needs. As a result, every generation is stressing more to the next that presents can replace presence. Ponder upon this, a few generations ago, children did not even get a chance to sit with their fathers until they were initiated into adulthood. They never related to fathers: they related to men. These men; however, ensured that their children were fed and lacked nothing that was in their power to provide. Their pride as African men denied them the opportunity of holding their children in their hands. They never felt the love of their children. All they felt was the respect, and in most cases the fear, of their own flesh and blood.

Times and seasons have changed. The hardheartedness of the average African man has been softened by the need for the love of their children (probably as a result of the gap created by the lack of it from their own parents). The circle of life continues; however. In so much as the modern father has not such much to make out of holding his children in his arms, he has no time to do so. The gap is widening for presence as we vainly try to fill it with presents.

Your son doesn’t need a ball. He needs a father who can teach him how to play it. He doesn’t need a toy car. He needs the figure of the experienced driver that you are. As you teach him to avoid hitting things and people with his toy car, you will be instilling in him the respect for people and their property. Leave him with a new car without your guidance; though. You will replace the new toy in days if not in hours because it was not the present he needed.

Your daughter doesn’t need a rag-doll honey. She needs to see the image of a mother so she can act it out with her doll. She will treat that rag-doll as you treat her. Watch her closely and discover how well you are doing as a mother. Soon she will tell you she needs a house help for her dolls and teddy bears. It is what you have taught her that a mother does.

I reckon also that we have brought this into our relationship with God. We seek Him more for His presents than His presence. We forget that if we have Him we have all things. Gifts are important but the giver is more important. We spend most of our time in prayer not seeking God but His blessings.
There is a longing in every man and every woman to be loved. Presents only make us feel loved when presence is in place. But presents can never take the place of presence. It is you that I need; not your gifts. You cannot relate with people based on this. It is easier to accept gifts from a person who has given you their self.
A gift without the giver seems more like a bribe. This is exactly what it is before God. We want to bribe God for miracles with money. I dare say that we have more people being conned for miracles than being convinced to attend overnight prayers. Why is this? We are not seeking presence. We are seeking presents. If we were seeking after presence, then the more time we spent in God's presence, the more blessed we would feel. But we do not want to spend time with God. There is not a place where the clock is of greater necessity today than in church. I could even be right in assuming that prisons have a lesser need for wall clocks than churches.
I love the story of Esther in the Bible. She won favour with the King and he offered her half of the kingdom. This woman chose to forsake that offer and go for the King's heart. She knew that if she took the offer she would get half the kingdom but if she got his heart she would have the entire Kingdom. What are you seeking for today? His presence or His presents? If you get Him, all He has will be yours.

I wish I just could climb the tallest skyscraper and spell it out for all to hear: WE DON’T WANT YOUR GIFTS; WE WANT YOU.The next time they ask you, "what did you bring me?" tell them, "I brought you me!"