PRESENTS OR PRESENCE?

You probably have heard that our values make us who we are. If you haven’t; read that statement again. Our values are inculcated into us from the time we are young. You may, most likely, identify with this. Growing up in Africa was one of two options. Growing in the village or in town.
Now if you grew up in town you remember those times a relative from the village visited. They came loaded with fruits and vegetables and sometimes chicken. Of course there were also the goodies that came up country to those of us who grew up there.
Recently I sat down to reevaluate what that taught us. Every visitor whether from the urban setting or from up country was met with this question. "What have you brought us?" Familiar?
Up till now you may, most likely, still find yourself asking this question.
This is a value that we contracted as children and it may take time to unlearn it. We grew up valuing presents more than presence. It moved us more what was brought us than who brought it. With time this value, which now that we have a common understanding I can call vice, began spreading roots to various aspects of our lives.
We have, today, parents who believe that they can work all week and make up for the vice with presents. Some work out of town only to come home in the weekend loaded with gifts. Pause right there sir. Your children need a father not Father Christmas. Your children need a mother not a visitor. Some of us work away from our families for months and go to visit with gift packs. We have been taught to value presents more than presence.
To a child who dares ask daddy, "Where have you been?" we quickly respond, "Have you lacked anything?" To one who dares say to mum, “You work too late and leave home too early,” we sharply retort, “well someone has to pay the bills!”
Well that's the problem right there. The most important things in life are not things. They are not lacking things. It is you they are lacking. The bills are being paid but there may be one that what you earn in your job can never come close to paying: your presence!

We leave our homes before the kids wake up and come back when they are asleep. We're careful to provide for their material needs while we neglect their emotional needs. As a result, every generation is stressing more to the next that presents can replace presence. Ponder upon this, a few generations ago, children did not even get a chance to sit with their fathers until they were initiated into adulthood. They never related to fathers: they related to men. These men; however, ensured that their children were fed and lacked nothing that was in their power to provide. Their pride as African men denied them the opportunity of holding their children in their hands. They never felt the love of their children. All they felt was the respect, and in most cases the fear, of their own flesh and blood.

Times and seasons have changed. The hardheartedness of the average African man has been softened by the need for the love of their children (probably as a result of the gap created by the lack of it from their own parents). The circle of life continues; however. In so much as the modern father has not such much to make out of holding his children in his arms, he has no time to do so. The gap is widening for presence as we vainly try to fill it with presents.

Your son doesn’t need a ball. He needs a father who can teach him how to play it. He doesn’t need a toy car. He needs the figure of the experienced driver that you are. As you teach him to avoid hitting things and people with his toy car, you will be instilling in him the respect for people and their property. Leave him with a new car without your guidance; though. You will replace the new toy in days if not in hours because it was not the present he needed.

Your daughter doesn’t need a rag-doll honey. She needs to see the image of a mother so she can act it out with her doll. She will treat that rag-doll as you treat her. Watch her closely and discover how well you are doing as a mother. Soon she will tell you she needs a house help for her dolls and teddy bears. It is what you have taught her that a mother does.

I reckon also that we have brought this into our relationship with God. We seek Him more for His presents than His presence. We forget that if we have Him we have all things. Gifts are important but the giver is more important. We spend most of our time in prayer not seeking God but His blessings.
There is a longing in every man and every woman to be loved. Presents only make us feel loved when presence is in place. But presents can never take the place of presence. It is you that I need; not your gifts. You cannot relate with people based on this. It is easier to accept gifts from a person who has given you their self.
A gift without the giver seems more like a bribe. This is exactly what it is before God. We want to bribe God for miracles with money. I dare say that we have more people being conned for miracles than being convinced to attend overnight prayers. Why is this? We are not seeking presence. We are seeking presents. If we were seeking after presence, then the more time we spent in God's presence, the more blessed we would feel. But we do not want to spend time with God. There is not a place where the clock is of greater necessity today than in church. I could even be right in assuming that prisons have a lesser need for wall clocks than churches.
I love the story of Esther in the Bible. She won favour with the King and he offered her half of the kingdom. This woman chose to forsake that offer and go for the King's heart. She knew that if she took the offer she would get half the kingdom but if she got his heart she would have the entire Kingdom. What are you seeking for today? His presence or His presents? If you get Him, all He has will be yours.

I wish I just could climb the tallest skyscraper and spell it out for all to hear: WE DON’T WANT YOUR GIFTS; WE WANT YOU.The next time they ask you, "what did you bring me?" tell them, "I brought you me!"